I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou
Read MoreTag: life
At Home Fitness Routines for a Healthier Lifestyle
Before I start listing healthy foods to eat and which workouts will produce the best results, it is important to mention that being balanced throughout your life is what will keep you from falling off the wagon.
Read MoreA Lesson in Vulnerability
“A lot of what I go through has nothing to do with men. A lot of it is pent-up aggression…
Read MoreOvercoming Depression Through Travel
When depression comes knocking on my door, like many of us, I tend to forget how blessed I am. When I’m becoming smothered with the day-to-day routine, I rarely remember to stop and smell the roses and to be thankful for all that I have.
Read MorePlaying the Field 2.0: The Loyal Woman
Many women including myself have fallen into the trap of wanting to see how their connection with one guy plays out. We end up hooked on a partner that’s not right because we focused in before we knew enough about him.
Read More5 Things to Be Grateful for this Holiday Season
With Christmas here and gifts being unwrapped under the tree, many people take today to spend time with family, friends, and significant others. For those of us who are fortunate enough to travel home for the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the upcoming New Year can bring up memories of nostalgia, bliss, and all around good vibes.
However, for some, the cheerful sounds of holiday music, jingle bells and the smells of cookies baking in the oven can bring forth spouts of depression, anxiety, and stress. Depression may occur at any time of the year, but the stress and anxiety during the months of November and December may cause even those who are usually content to experience loneliness and a lack of fulfillment.
According to Psychology Today, for some people, they get depressed at Christmas and even angry because of the excessive commercialization of Christmas, with the focus on gifts and the emphasis on “perfect” social activities. Other’s get depressed because Christmas appears to be a trigger to engage in excessive self-reflection and rumination about the inadequacies of life (and a “victim” mentality) in comparison with other people who seem to have more and do more.
Although there is no “perfect” way to plan out the holidays or by no means should you be comparing your life to other’s, what better time than now to highlight some of the things that we all should be grateful for this season.
Here are 5 Things to Be Grateful for this Holiday Season:
Good Health (mental and physical)
I don’t call myself the “fitness enthusiast” for nothing. The importance of physical health and mental well-being is something that we all should be grateful for coming into the New Year.
Although anyone can develop a mental health problem, African Americans sometimes experience more severe forms of mental health conditions due to unmet needs and other barriers. According to the Health and Human Services Office of Minority Health, African Americans are 20% more likely to experience serious mental health problems than the general population.
Positive Support System(s)
A huge part of life is experiencing ups and downs. We all want people who understand us and can be depended upon during hardships. We also need people who will listen to us and give us honest, constructive feedback.
Research has proved that having a support system has many positive benefits, such as higher levels of well-being, better coping mechanisms, and a longer healthier life. Studies have also shown that social support can reduce depression and anxiety.
Some people do best with a large support group, while others need a small support system. Giving and receiving support from others is a basic human need. With a good support system, you can achieve wonders, something that we all should be grateful to have.
Food and Shelter
Although the national rate of homelessness has gone down from 21.5 per 10,000 people in 2007 to 17.7 per 10,000 in 2015, there is still a lot of work to be done. The rate of homelessness amongst individual states continues to be high and the amount of affordable housing remains painfully low.
This year, take the time out to appreciate the roof that you have over your head and the food that you are preparing today. Many people around the globe do not have that luxury.
Family
We can’t choose our family, but we only get one. Over the years, I have learned, that no matter the obstacle or problem you face, your family will always be by your side. Even if you go through many rough patches throughout life, they will always stick together, because after all, that’s what makes it a family.
Sometimes it can be very difficult to get every single one of your relatives together, at the same time, on the same day, but cherish this time spent with family even if you all are not that close.
Quality Friends
Research backs up what many of us know instinctively: Quality friendships are good for our health. Many studies, including the landmark Nurses’ Health Study, show that social interaction with friends can lower blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol, and an Australian study of older people found that those who had a large network of friends lived much longer than those with the fewest friends.
I love all of my friends more than words can express. It’s not the quantity of the number of people that you have in your life, but the quality and amount of value that these people place into your life that matters the most.
Due to time and space, sometimes it is tough for all of us to get together like the good ol days, but when we do, it is always a good time.
With everything going on, let’s remember the things and the people in our lives who make us happy and complete.
This time of year can always be difficult for those of us who are experiencing grief, loss, and angry, but there’s always someone who has it much worse.
Happy holidays!
What are some things that you are grateful for this holiday season? Comment below!
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Money Moves Monday Feat Fashion Designer Safaridesignss
Nina also known as safaridesignss is a young designer who has taken her passion for fashion and provided a personal service that every fashionista or thread king can appreciate.
Read MoreMoney Moves Monday Feat. Glam Nails by Jeanell
Today’s nail technicians are taking the art of beauty to another level by providing quality customer care and professional knowledge to everyone who sits in their chair. From someone who has been disappointed countless times by my local salon shop, it is refreshing to see those newly acquired artists such as the one featured today is taking the time out to perfect the craft of nail art.
Read MoreLoyalty and Devotion
Q: What does loyalty in a relationship deserve?
Giving more of myself than what I expect of others, is something that I struggle with when forming or sustaining existing relationships, but it has also been a really helpful indicator when accessing my wants and needs when dealing with others.
In the past, I’ve shown an alarming lack of loyalty to myself while at the same time continuing to engage with certain people out of what I believed was a display of my undying loyalty and devotion. Of course this type of double-edged allegiance where you effectively keep throwing yourself into fire for someone who isn’t even on the same proverbial life path as you or someone who will never throw themselves back into that same fire because they don’t acknowledge, respect, or even desire that same loyalty and devotion, is exactly how I ended up feeling deeply compromised and rejected throughout many relationships in my life.
So what exactly does loyalty deserve? Being as though this a very vague question, Simply put, it depends on the person.
Loyalty is a two-way street
Like any relationship whether it be romantic or otherwise. you need to create a set line of boundaries for yourself that will not be compromised on the behalf of someone else. Unlike deal breaks, boundaries consist of rules or guidelines that teach a person how to treat you in any given circumstance. Once you establish what those boundaries are and what you will not allow, then you can start re-accessing what the word loyalty means for you.
Too many times we mistake being willing to compromise the essence of who we are and even our willingness to endanger our emotional, mental, and physical well-being, for the sake of loyalty and devotion, but in all actuality loyalty is a two-way street.
For me, loyalty is not an action, but a sense of where two people consistently communicate and demonstrate strong feelings of support, acknowledgment, care, trust, and respect on both sides. In essence, loyalty is giving out what we want to get back in others. However, the trouble is, we often confuse what loyalty is for servitude.
Understanding servitude
There have been countless times where I foolishly have mistaken servitude for loyalty. Thinking that by answering every phone call, not entertaining other suitors, being a listening ear, staying home, being a “good woman” (whatever that may mean) when those things were not given back to me was my definition of loyalty.
Looking back, I was a fool.
As defined by Merriam-webster, servitude is: “the state of being a slave or completely subject to someone more powerful.”Last time I checked, slavery is over subjectively but many people continue to display acts of servitude as a replacement for loyalty. We see it all the time with the memes on social media. In today’s new-age of dating people believe that if you are not accessible to them 100% of the time than you are being disloyal.
So what exactly does loyalty deserve?
It’s difficult to answer this question only because I’m not sure of the circumstances in which this question may arise. For many people, their definition of what loyalty is varies based on the dynamics of their relationships which leads me to ask “what does loyalty mean to you?”. Once you answer this question for yourself, then you can continue to evaluate what you deserve in your relationship based on your actions.
In my opinion, I believe that I deserve exactly what I am pouring into others. The types of relationships I form (professional, platonic, romantic) are all built on communication, time, consistency and effort. Without these core characteristics, these relationships would not last very long (for me).
12 Things I Wish I Knew Before Going to College
If you’ve read my last blog “12 Things I’ve Learned as a First-Generation College Graduate”, then you know my journey of educational discovery came with a list full of self-preservational tactics and an array of trial and error experiences to match. Needless to say, my five-year kit came with no guide on how to stay afloat. Everything I know about college life came as the years went by, but I wouldn’t have had it any other the way.
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