High achieving, intelligent black women often struggle to have the same success in their romantic lives, as they do at work.
During the first few dates of meeting someone new, you’re both on your best behavior.
But after a few months, things go sour, and the relationship fizzles out.
Sounds familiar?
This may be because you are approaching the way you date, the same way you work.
If we as women really want to reach the maximum that we can reach in our careers, then we need to actually adapt and find partners who will help us achieve that.
And no man wants to date his boss, no matter how attractive she is.
Masculine and feminine energies in a relationship
While it is common to associate men with “the masculine” and women with “the feminine”, it’s important to note that these energies are not necessarily specific to gender, nor do they dictate sexuality.
We all embody both, but will generally have a dominant or “core energy”.
Ideally, this is the energy you want to operate from.
The problem that many successful black women face while dating and in life is that we tend to function from a more masculine center, rather than our feminine core energy.
Characteristics of the Masculine /Feminine energies
Throughout time, black women have been taught to become more masculine for success and survival.
This doesn’t serve us when trying to find love because it creates conflict with masculine energy.
For instance, when women lead with their masculine energy, they attract men who are more in their feminine.
They tend to tire of always being the ones to plan dates and trying to push the relationship forward.
If we as women really want to reach the maximum that we can reach in our careers, then we need to actually adapt and find partners who will help us achieve that.
I always believed that I needed to be masculine in order to be powerful, but masculine energy is not the power of the universe, the feminine is.
Masculine energy is great to implement in your career and business, but if you truly want a successful relationship, embracing feminine energy is the best place to start.
Love requires true vulnerability
I’ve always had a problem with the “V” word, vulnerability.
For years, I’ve struggled with the idea of letting someone into my heart out of the fear of getting hurt.
In the end, I realized that I was only doing myself a disservice.
Women need to learn to be vulnerable in love, which is hard when we’re in the habit of always having our guard up.
When we decide to open up, we no longer pay attention to the dynamics of the relationships.
When showing vulnerability, paying attention to the dynamics of the relationship is key since it helps realize whether or not our partner is meant for us.
Being afraid of showing weaknesses will prevent you from being totally engaged in the relationship.
You could be freezing out potential love because you are afraid to let yourself shine and possibly jeopardize the quality of intimacy you could have with your partner.
Find a man who supports your success
The only relationships that last are those that continue to grow and develop towards each person’s individual goals.
Oftentimes we worry about how much a man makes, or what car he drives, instead of looking at his character and values.
When pursuing a relationship, it’s important to seek out men who support your success and not in a “nod his head in agreement” manner.
A man supports your successes if he:
- offers encouragement
- celebrates big and small accomplishments
- helps you de-stress
- offers advice/solutions
We all want to succeed in our careers, social lives, and in love, but for Black women, our desires come with much sacrifice.
If you haven’t found success in your dating life as you do at work, try coming up with a new strategy that plays to some of the advice listed throughout this post.
There’s someone out there for you, in do time.