More times than we would like to admit, there can be trouble in paradise that “time apart” simply can not fix. From a lack of sexual desire, financial pitfalls, or breakdowns in communication, many couples experience a disconnect somewhere throughout the relationship that oftentimes leads to premature breakups.
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We expect our relationship spark to support us in the same way it has when we first started dating. In a perfect world, it would be nice to have the honeymoon stage 24/7, but the reality is, nothing is permanent but change. By detaching from our expectations that “happiness should be easy” try working towards keeping the spark alive. Understanding the importance of connecting with your companion in unique ways won’t seem like such a headache when things aren’t going well in lover’s lane.
#1: Revives your relationship
When in long-term relationships, it is common to get stuck in the day-to-day stressors of life that we forget to nurture our relationship in the same way we used to when we were first getting to know them.
Finding new ways to connect during such times can help you get inspired to love again and to let go of outside pressures by prioritizing your relationship.
Helpful Tip:
Make it a priority to commit to one day a week or one hour a day with no interruptions for you and your partner to do something together. Whether it be cooking dinner, listening to music, or watching t.v, take one hour to come together as a couple and relax.
#2: Creates vulnerability and intimacy
No matter how long you have been in a relationship, building vulnerability and safety in your relationship should be an ongoing goal. We are constantly growing and changing. With life comes challenges and experiences that shape us into who we have become. Vulnerability is one key to a lasting relationship because it allows us to build trust with each other.
Helpful Tip:
Do something that scares the two of you every month (or within reason). It can be something as simple as going skydiving or visiting a taboo destination. Opening up to your spouse can be just what you needed in order to spark up butterflies again.
#3: Learning more about each another
Just when you think you know a person, there’s that second layer that is revealed when you least expect it. Don’t allow this moment to turn you off and go running for the heels instead, use this opportunity to embrace the changes within the relationship and grow from it. Learning more about one another helps you both continue to be curious, and the energy alive and spontaneous.
Helpful Tip:
For those in long-term relationships, try going to counseling even if the two of you are in a good place. Counseling can be a safe place to reconnect and prevent future issues before they arise.
#4: Taking on a new hobby, separately
Hitting a rough patch in your relationship can be frustrating, to say the least. At times we want to instantly get back to the honeymoon stage without taking time to figure out what is truly wrong. Although working things out is ideal to reconnecting, taking time away to dive into individual passions from your partner can reignite that mission element in a relationship.
Helpful Tip:
Time well spent together can be a beautiful thing however, you don’t want to suffocate the other person by always doing things together. Take some time to join your local community club, or connect with friends that you haven’t seen in a while. You’d be surprised at how much you’ll learn about yourself with time away from one another.
#5: Bringing games into the bedroom
New relationships have a certain element of surprise that old relationships just can’t compare to. From the first time you kissed to first-hand holding ordeal, sexual chemistry is what keeps many relationships intact.
If your relationship has hit a stand-still in the intimacy department, try spicing things up!
Helpful Tip:
Communicate to your partner of your sexual needs when being intimate, but also be open to what they have to contribute as well. Each persons sex drive is different so being attentive to each other wants and needs can add depth and openness to the relationship.
All of us have been guilty of taking our relationship for granted. We lose sight of what is meaningful when life throws us ups and downs. Take time out to unplug and connect with your partner before daily obligations get the best of you.
In what ways do you connect with your spouse when things have gone stale?
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